Thursday, May 25, 2006

Emerge Cybergames

Well, we got knocked out at the quarter finals. Having won 3 games and lost 2... It was totally fun. Our team leader was the only female competitor. And she's a cell group leader!!! And the camera man kept coming back to take videos and pictures of her.. O_o

Somehow the bitterness and disappointment of losing isn't there to torment me as much as it used to in the pass. I feel that I have more power over this area now. Indeed my life was changed by the renewing of my mind through the truth of God's Word.

Tomorrow will be my Word Power Scripture Memory Challenge Semi Finals. Wish me the best of memory =)

Dying to self is a daily decision I have to make. So do you!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Dying To Self

"How can I be even more in love with You? How can I be closer to You?" I asked God.
"Be willing to die to yourself," I felt the Holy Spirit whispered into my heart.

Ok... Die to myself.... But how???? That was all He said, or at least what I could hear. The whole week I was thinking about it. I've heard about dying to self many times. To me, its normally associated with bearing the cross, following Jesus, placing my life on the altar as a sacrifice, submitting to authority above you... So, what really is dying to self?

The results of the final round of the preaching challenge was accounced during service. I did not manage to get into the finals. I was sad... and disappointed. As I shared with my cell leader, she rebuked me and said that I was disappointed because I was too "self-focused" and that I felt bad because the outcome had not met my expectations. It was because of my pride, my attitude, and my fear of failure. I was too concerned about how man will think of me.

Yea, you could imagine that I felt even worse. She had told me many things as well that I should change. She was rebuking me till she started crying. At that moment, I felt so bad that I started to weep as well. From then, the entire atmosphere of the conversation changed. All I said was, "I'm sorry..... Though its.... hard... But.. I will not give up.....I will keep on trying....."

All of a sudden I felt so much love for my leader and I could feel the wall that was between us began to break down. Ah! Thank God so much for a leader like her!

Today, as I was fasting and reading the Scriptures, the Holy Spirit led me to this verse in Philippians 2:3 "let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself." That's right! It was my selfish ambitions, my pride that caused me to drift away from God!

Then He led me to 1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment...." My bitterness, disappointments are due to the fears in my life. Fear of failure, fear of rejection by people! But God says that perfect love casts out fear! Where there is the love of God, there is no place for fear!

To die to self, is to live a life that is God-centered, not self-centered. To die to self, is to to love God so much, so much that all you want to do is to please God, and not men. To die to self, is to serve God through His people with a humble attitude.

When you can do that, the devil can no longer use fear to torment you, to break you apart from divine relationships with other people. He will have no hold over you. Because you are already dead to yourself. You are on your way to a glorious future filled with love and power!

Friday, May 19, 2006

A Wonderful Meeting

What an amazing cell group meeting we had today. I teared the moment we started singing the first praise song. Yes, the praise song.

The presence of God was amazing. The words which my leader spoke hit my heart like a waves of rushing water. It was totally amazing. She spoke about prayer, dying to self and how to have a closer relationship with God.

During the offering, I was thinking in my heart that I have been sowing faithfully in my tithes and offerings for more than a year since I joined Church, but why have I not received my hundredfold blessing stated clearly in the Bible?

Then I saw a vision of different trees and plants. Beans tend to mature very quickly and you will reap its fruit in a few weeks. Some of our seed which we sow are like beans, you will receive your blessing very quickly from them, but not very much.

Then there are bigger trees like durian, rambutan, mangosteem which takes a much longer time to mature. I felt that the seeds which I have sowed are like these, and it takes a much longer time to mature, to bear fruit. But they are definitely much tastier and more valuable.

And I was encouraged by God that He will keep His word and will restore to me a hundredfold and that I should be patient and not lose heart in doing good.

Nonetheless, we should love God more than His blessings. If we truely love Jesus, no matter how bad the situation is, we will never blame Him, for we are after His relationship more than His blessings. And when we follow Jesus and His Spirit, we will have no lack in our lives!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

City Harvest Church Emerge 2006

Our annual youth revival conference is around the corner! Its my first time going for this conference and I'm very excited about it!

If you need a revival in your spirit and you are below 26 years of age, I welcome you to fly over to Singapore to join us for the most exciting youth event of the year.

Next week I'll be going for the Rock Climbing and Memory Scripture Competitions. Still waiting for the results of the Preaching Challenge. I've not got a team for the cybergames so I'm not very sure if I can join that though I really wish to. :D

Tomorrow morning I'll be training for the speed climbing competition with a really powerful and spiritual climber. I believe that she'll be the women's champion for this year! Go Hwee Teng!